Issue 22: The Shadows of Growing up with Dyslexia: How We Can Foster Authentic Confidence and Self-Esteem | Bernadette Haigh

I know firsthand that growing up with a learning difference is a journey fraught with challenges. It influences academic outcomes and can profoundly shape a child's self-perception, belief, and worth.

As I navigated the childhood complexities of dyslexia in a mainstream school environment, I also grappled with a relentless inner critic who told me, despite how hard I worked, "I'd never be good enough."

The reality is that there's a bottomless impact of growing up with a learning difference on a child's emotional well-being that, for many, will remain long after they can read and write proficiently. For me, I had horrendously low self-esteem, lacked confidence in my abilities, and developed a fixed mindset that assured me I would never be smart like my peers despite any success I had achieved.

For this reason, I dove deep into personal development to help rewrite the many limiting beliefs holding me back. Over a decade of in-depth work across multiple modalities, I realised what was missing—that we must explore the multifaceted impact of growing up with dyslexia on a person's mindset. Through my work, I have come to know that there are many practical ways for parents and educators to help build and nurture confidence and self-esteem in our neurodivergent children.

The Silent Struggle: Revealing the Impact of Dyslexia on Mindset and Self-Esteem

Growing up with dyslexia, like so many of our children, my journey to academic proficiency was an uphill battle marked by frustration, self-doubt, and a persistent sense of inadequacy.

The struggle to decode words, comprehend texts, and coherently express thoughts in the written word cast an enduring shadow on my confidence and self-esteem. Even once I mastered reading, the emotional scars of repeated setbacks and the internalised belief in my limitations lingered, shaping a very negative self-perception and view of my future potential.

Still, to this day, I vividly recall the anguish of being labelled as "slow" and "lazy" by teachers. I believed these judgments, and day by day, I allowed them to chip away at my confidence.

Despite greater academic success in high school, the scars of those primary years were ever present, leading to the safety of low expectations for my future.

Even once I mastered reading, the emotional scars of repeated setbacks and the internalised belief in my limitations lingered.

Unveiling the Gifts: Embracing the Strengths of Dyslexia

But I didn't know at this age that I had numerous gifts and talents that weren't recognised within my mainstream education's tests, averages or norms. Like many with learning differences, I possess unique cognitive perspectives, a creative thinking style, and high emotional intelligence. These hugely valuable attributes have given me significant advantages in my adult life and career.

I had numerous gifts and talents that weren't recognised within my mainstream education's tests, averages or norms.

The time is here for us to do better, for parents and educators to embrace a strengths-based approach for children with dyslexia; it's the pivotal step in reshaping the narrative around dyslexia and empowering individuals to recognise their inherent abilities. Understanding and embracing a child's strengths bolsters their confidence and illuminates the uncharted pathways where their unique gifts can thrive, which, for many, sit outside the narrow and fixed confines of the classroom.

Nurturing Self-Esteem and Confidence: Practical Strategies for Parents and Educators

Building self-esteem in children with learning differences requires a multidimensional approach that encompasses not only academic support and intervention but also a deeper dive into their emotional well-being and personal development. The following are effective strategies for nurturing confidence and resilience in individuals with learning differences:

Strengths-Based Approach:

Provide ample opportunity and encourage children to explore their interests and passions, focusing on their unique strengths and talents. By shifting focus onto positive outcomes and celebrating their abilities, we start to instil a sense of pride and confidence in their potential both in and out of the classroom. As their self-perception begins to shift and their confidence grows, we can help them expand this newfound belief into other areas of their lives. This shift will have an immeasurable and life-long impact.

Cultivate a Growth Mindset:

Cultivating a growth mindset in children is paramount as it lays the foundation for their approach to not only their learning but all of life's challenges, as well as personal growth and development. A growth mindset cultivates resilience, a willingness to embrace setbacks as opportunities for growth, and a belief in the power of effort and perseverance. Children are empowered to approach difficulties with determination and greater optimism, ultimately nurturing their confidence and self-esteem. A growth mindset encourages them to view their abilities as malleable and engage with challenges as stepping stones to progress, fostering a positive outlook on their potential.

Emotional Support and Validation:

Our children need to be seen and heard. They can begin to trust themselves and their experience by having their feelings validated. This builds self-trust, the basis of authentic confidence. We do this by creating safe and nurturing spaces where children can express themselves without fear of judgement. When we utilise active and reflective listening, we ensure that the child feels understood and validated. Acknowledging their experience and challenges and providing unwavering support helps bolster their self-esteem and emotional well-being.

Understanding and Embracing Neurodiversity:

A critical part of a grown-up's role is to gain a deeper understanding of their child's differences and work together to shift the narrative surrounding dyslexia, whether that be at home or on a broader scale - a shift from one of deficits to one of valued diversity. Embracing neurodiversity involves recognising and celebrating all children's unique cognitive profiles and abilities. Educators can play a pivotal role in promoting inclusivity by fostering a culture of acceptance, providing opportunities for all children to shine uniquely, and implementing differentiated instruction to cater to diverse learning styles.

Personally, it's been through witnessing the transformative impact of these strategies whilst raising my son with dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia and ADHD that I've come to appreciate the profound importance of these types of supportive measures and the positive impact they have had on nurturing his confidence and resilience.

Illuminating Pathways to Confidence and Resilience

Most of us see the impact that growing up with dyslexia has on a child's confidence and self-esteem in the moment. But, we must also recognise the long-term impact and how this carries over into adulthood. The sooner we can recognise and celebrate the unique gifts and talents of children with learning differences, the better.

By fostering a strengths-based approach, cultivating a growth mindset, and promoting inclusivity, we are empowering our children to navigate the world with greater confidence and resilience.

As someone who has traversed the intricate pathways of dyslexia and grappled with the enduring impact of poor mindset and self-esteem, I am committed to advocating for this multidimensional approach that encompasses a deeper development of our children's emotional well-being.

Together, we can and will create a world where every child feels valued, empowered, and capable of reaching their full potential regardless of how their brain is wired.

Bernadette Haigh

Bernadette founded Daring Dyslexic, a social enterprise with a mission to transform how children feel about themselves and dyslexia. Drawing from her experience of growing up with dyslexia and as a mother to a son with multiple learning differences, she infuses her work with empathy and insight. At the core of her approach lies the cultivation of confidence, self-esteem, and a growth mindset—key to academic outcomes and life-long resilience.

Bernadette's podcast, 'Doing Dyslexia Differently,' is a powerful platform where she shares strategies and support for parents and educators. It's a space that fosters a community celebrating learning diversity. In addition, she is currently authoring her first book on dyslexia. She hopes that it will broaden her advocacy and challenge the conventional narrative around the brain difference, furthering her commitment to supporting and empowering children with dyslexia.

Bernadette demonstrates that children with dyslexia can reach their full potential with appropriate support and belief in their abilities. Her commitment extends beyond her profession—it's a heartfelt call to action, empowering every parent, educator and child to recognise their brilliance and chart their own path to success.

Extracts from Dystinct Magazine