Issue 29: Dystinct Report - A Conversation with Simon da Roza | Flynn & Eva Eldridge

Flynn and Ava Eldridge speak with Simon about his journey in education, his lived experience of neurodivergence, and his strengths-based approach to inclusive learning. They explore how connection, curiosity and fun can help all children thrive.

The Interview

Dystinct reporters Flynn and Ava Eldridge interview Simon da Roza.

Questions and Answers

AVA: Tell us about your business

SIMON DA ROZA: I worked with the Department of Education for a number of years. I learned that neurodivergent kids weren’t really being supported in the way I think they should have been supported. Over the years, I’d learned lots of practical tricks and hacks from having neurodivergent children and from teaching in various places. So, I left the Department of Education, started my therapy practice, and have been supporting kids by helping them better understand the neurology of what’s going on and giving them strategies that actually work and make a difference. I also share those strategies with parents because, while they can sometimes be well-meaning and wonderful, they can accidentally make life a little bit harder for their kids. I also educate parents and teachers who sometimes don’t always know how to help kids be the best they can be. I work with teachers, too, all with the aim of helping kids just be awesome.

FLYNN: What are your workshops all about, and who can attend?

SIMON DA ROZA: I run a variety of workshops. Workshops for teachers with neurodivergent kids in their class who would like to learn how to better support them. I run workshops for parents, where they learn about neurology, executive functioning, dyslexia, autism and ADHD, so that they can better support kids with strategies that actually work. Occasionally, I also do workshops for psychologists, psychiatrists, and GPs, because they don’t always have a great deal of knowledge or understanding unless they have a neurodivergent person in their family or are neurodivergent themselves. Often, we find that many of those doctors are very high-functioning and have had the intelligence to mask, pretend, and get through, so they’ve never really had to deal with it. I also run a dads’ group to talk about raising neurodivergent kids as a dad.

AVA: What inspired you to get into coaching and counselling?

SIMON DA ROZA: I’ve always worked with kids, and I always seem to be working on wellbeing or welfare teams. I’ve worked in some of NSW’s hardest schools, and I've learned many skills to help kids be the best they can be. What inspired me to become a coach was wanting to be helpful and not wanting kids to experience school the way I did, which wasn't very pleasant. I found that sometimes people would share things with me, and I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing and looking after people’s well-being. So, I did a degree in counselling to make sure that everything I’d been developing in my practice was appropriate and grounded in good science and research.

FLYNN: Do you or anyone in your family have neurodiversity?

SIMON DA ROZA: Yes, but they don’t all accept it. It runs in families, and I can see it now. I didn’t know myself; I had a very late diagnosis. But it is clear to me now that it runs right through our family.

What inspired me to become a coach was wanting to be helpful and not wanting kids to experience school the way I did

AVA: What struggles, if any, did you have at school?

SIMON DA ROZA: Well, they didn’t know about dyslexia and ADHD when I was a kid. The way they used to control me was with fear and physical punishment, so I would often get the cane for spelling mistakes. I could read okay, but writing was very difficult for me. I just couldn’t see it like other kids. I remember in Year 5 or 6, I loved science fiction and escaping into it. Star Wars had just come out. I would pretend to be sick and miss school to go to the movies. I always wanted to write about it, and I remember using all my pencils and erasers in class to make space stations. I was creating all these stories all the time.

A teacher said to me, “Simon, spell your name with a capital S.” Because I was literal, I put a capital S in front of my name and had “a capital S,” “small s,” “imon” - Ssimon. They thought I was stupid and treated me as stupid. And unfortunately, I believed for many, many years that I was actually stupid and that there was something very wrong with me. I was broken in some way. Schooling and getting organised were very difficult for me, but somehow, I got through. I’m not too sure how I did it. Actually, I think it all happened because I wanted to go out with a girl in Year 10 called Katherine Granger. She wouldn’t go out with me unless I’d read Lord of the Rings. They’re pretty thick books, and I suppose back then it was like the Harry Potter of our time. Anyway, I got right into reading. I think that actually got me through, accidentally. I didn’t write then, but now I write a lot, and people kind of like what I write. I’ve found supports like Grammarly and ChatGPT sometimes helpful for bits and pieces. I didn’t get a lot of support at school, and it was difficult, but I muddled through somehow.

Unfortunately, I believed for many, many years that I was actually stupid and that there was something very wrong with me.

AVA: What additional support at school did you receive for your neurodiversity?

SIMON DA ROZA: None. They didn’t know what neurodiversity was. I was just a naughty boy. I remember being put into the special class and segregated into a small group. They had this thing that I had to read, which was a speed reader. The line would go up, and you had to keep up with the reading. It was awful. It’s not based on any good reading evidence at all, but that was the only support I got. Sometimes I was sent home because I got so many spelling words wrong. I had to write them out 50 times, and I remember having to write out the word “kitchen” 50 times at night. But I didn’t spell it with a “k”. I spelled it with a “c.” When the teacher said, “Simon, you spelt kitchen wrong 50 times. Kitchen starts with a k, not a c,” I went, “Yeah, but a ‘k’ takes so long to write. I just thought I’d write a ‘c’ instead.” The teachers would just throw their hands up and go, “Oh, we don’t know what to do with you!” And I’d think, what are you talking about? I think it was a really good solution. I’m a great problem solver!

FLYNN: How did your parents help you?

SIMON DA ROZA: They didn’t because they had no idea. In fact, the only support I got once was from my grandmother, who sat me down and helped me prepare for a test. I think it was a quiz on the first settlement. She sat with me and was patient. On the day I did the test, I got called out the front with one of the other kids, and I thought, “Oh no, I’m in trouble again.” I thought they were going to tell everyone how silly and stupid I was and how bad I was at doing things. But the teacher said, “Not only did these two people get everything right, but they also spelt it all correctly as well!” I thought they must have made a mistake. It couldn’t be me. It was the only time I ever got any praise. The whole class was so shocked, because I couldn’t even spell my name correctly. They all applauded. But it was really not anything the school had done, and certainly not anything I had done. It was someone who was just patient and kind and relentlessly trying to help me with something.