Issue 22: Dystinct Journey of Lisa Kucaj

When you want it, you can have anything you want!

Hello, my name is Lisa Kucaj. I'm 22 years old and live in Belgium, near Brussels. I have many passions in life, such as photography, drawing, painting, travelling, baking and shopping. I have dyslexia and dyspraxia. I was diagnosed at the age of 16, which is a bit late. I've had to fight hard to succeed, even today...

I also suspect that I have Autism Spectrum Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder. I haven't been diagnosed yet, but the result of my testing a few weeks earlier shouldn't be long in coming. I had a walking delay when I was little, so I walked on my tiptoes for a while. I could recognize store logos even though I couldn't yet read them. I remember almost everything from when I was little. People are surprised, but I think it could be due to autism.

Schooling

My schooling was a bit eventful, but I always managed. At nursery school, I had some difficulties. I always felt different from the other children. I was in my own bubble and had a language delay, so I expressed myself differently through art, colouring, drawing, and painting. I think because of that, I've been able to develop skills in drawing and painting and art in general. So it's not always the way you do things that's negative. That's the way your brain works, and you should be proud of the way it works. No matter what people say about how you function, be proud of how you function.

No matter what people say about how you function, be proud of how you function.

I think I was hyperactive, too. I couldn’t stand still. I had jerky movements and fine motor problems. I was told I had a psychomotor delay, but I was able to communicate well with younger children, especially boys. As an adult, some things are the opposite of what they were when I was little. Today, I have more girlfriends than boyfriends, but I still find it hard to form bonds. For example, at 14, I was wondering how to make friends. I’d talked to my mother about it, and she told me to reach out to others, but I’ve always found it hard to make connections.

Motivation, strength, and perseverance are the keys to success.

I had a few more difficulties in elementary school, but it was in secondary school that the difficulties persisted the most. Towards the end of secondary school, I had enormous difficulties, particularly in maths and understanding problems. Dyspraxia also had an impact on what I had to do in terms of reasoning. In other words, at the spatial level, there was so much information in a problem that I had trouble finding my way around. This was detrimental to me, but I managed to get along by doing the exercises repeatedly. Motivation, strength and perseverance are the keys to success.

Some teachers made me believe that I was stupid, unskilled, without potential, and without anything. My self-esteem at the time had dropped because I thought what the teachers were saying was true. Now, I have the answer: Everything the teachers said was wrong; I think the teachers said those things out of spite and jealousy. I was unhappy during those years. But now, thankfully, I've moved on. In any case, if you want to move forward in life, that's what you have to do. You can't stay stuck on something that has frozen you. So, I'm happy to have been able to turn the page, and I'd be even happier to show these people that I'm someone capable! Fortunately, my family has always supported me through these trials! I thank them for that.

When I received a formal diagnosis, it, of course, changed my life. Before, I didn't understand how I functioned, but now I understand why I function the way I do! The accommodations I received in high school were 1/3 more time to complete certain tasks, such as a test, and sheets of paper with larger writing to make them easier to read, which helped me succeed in school.

You can't stay stuck on something that has frozen you.

After School

When I finished school, my life changed because I did so many things: I worked with children in the after-school environment, with teenagers with disabilities, and with the elderly. I also took a marketing course, which helped me better understand my dreams and goals in life. I supplemented this with training in office automation and worked in a pastry shop, too. In short, I've had a rather atypical career. I've discovered lots of things, and I'm happy as I am.

In life, you move forward with what suits you and leave what doesn't suit you aside.

I've always been very curious by nature. But I wondered if certain things suited me. Maybe I had too much curiosity. After all, too much is better than too little. But I've discovered that some things don't suit me. And I have to say to myself that it's okay; it's life; it's part of the learning process to get back on the right track. That's what life is all about; realizing what suits you and what doesn't. You move forward with what suits you, ready to move on and leave the rest aside. You shouldn't feel guilty about it because it's part of the process of life. Thanks to all this, I was able to discover my true calling in life (even if I already knew it) and find out what my true vocation in this world was. It's through experience that you really find out what's right for you and what's not. Maybe I'm multi-potential. After all, being multi-potential isn't a fault either because you see your strengths in different areas.

A Turning Point

Right now, I'm at a turning point in my life where I want to achieve things. Maybe I want to go too fast, as they say, faster than the music. But I can't... I've overcome the difficulties, but I still need help. Support is essential in certain situations to guide us towards our path. Having clarity is the most important thing. I think it's a bit due to procrastination but also due to a lack of information and help... But I think I'll make my dreams come true...

Society has always tried to fit me into a mold that didn't suit me, and that I didn't want.

My dreams are to become an influencer and a painter, anything related to art in general, modelling, or acting. I'd also like to be a pastry chef in another country, in a tearoom, to be precise. Maybe in New York, Poland, or Italy? If I had the chance, I think I'd go. I'd like to travel around the world. I’d also like to learn English and the languages of my Italian and Polish roots.

If I could make one dream of mine come true, I'd be the happiest person in the world! Time will tell if I achieve one or all of my dreams. I think it's something I've had since childhood, because I've always been interested in stores and fashion, and I've been drawing and painting since I was a child. But society has always tried to fit me into a mould that didn't suit me and that I didn't want.

I create content on Instagram, and I'm told that my account is superb and that I should continue, and that's already a small victory for me! It makes me very happy and motivates me to pursue my passion. I'd love to hear from you, too, if you could give me some pointers for content creators. I've been told that I have potential by people looking at my drawings. The feedback makes me feel like I've got all the cards in my hand. Now it's just a question of how I'm going to get there and make this dream come true. But I know very well that I'll get there one day: it's just a matter of making adjustments. When you want it, you can have anything you want because the will and determination are there.

Lisa Kucaj

Extracts from Dystinct Magazine