Issue 15: Dystinct Journey of Bayley Garnham

Bayley's journey

Growing up, Bayley struggled with schoolwork. "I was always behind in reading and writing. I think my reading age would be about six or seven when I was ten. Completing homework was a mission. It would take me double the amount of time to do it, even with the help of my parents. In class, keeping up with the speed of the content given was a challenge. I was forever asking questions and looking for reassurance. Change was a big thing for me; needless to say, I found it hard to adapt to anything new or different. That included everything from a change in my schedule tonew teachers and friendships."

Despite his difficulties, no one suspected he could have an underlying condition, and Bayley was simply considered a late developer. However, this lack of awareness and support had a significant impact on Bayley's life, particularly in activities that Bayley loved the most. "In terms of schoolwork, it didn't really affect me too much because I thought that was just normal. I only got frustrated in terms of the sports side of things, where I really tried to excel. I was the kid that wanted to be in the school representative team for cricket, but I never quite made it. My friends always did, and they weren't as passionate about it as me. I would get frustrated, and the coaches would get frustrated at why I couldn't do what the others were doing. It was frustrating to not know why all the practice I was doing wasn't paying off," shares Bayley.

Socially, as we all know, in the school environment, anyone seen to be different is a target.

Bayley's struggles on the playground also made him a target for teasing and ridicule from his teammates and friends. "Socially, as we all know, in the school environment, anyone seen to be different is a target. While playing games like handball, four square or rugby during break times at school, we were all very competitive, but I'd ruin the flow of the game or kind of end up at the bottom. A friend of mine I had grown up with took playground banter to a whole another level and started verbally hurting me."

His family's unwavering support got him through those tough early years. His parents and his grandparents, with whom Bayley spent a lot of time, encouraged him to try every sport possible and instilled in him the value of persistence and hard work. Bayley's grandfather was a source of constant inspiration and encouragement, constantly reminding him that he could do it and to keep going. Through words of affirmation and tough love, Bayley's family never allowed him to give up, even when he wanted to. "My mum always proofread my schoolwork for me and helped me each night to ensure I had everything I needed for school, sports and outside activities that helped relieve any added stress. This is something I still practice. My grandparents had these old-school reading books to try to assist me in reading something I was interested in. My grandfather came across Toe by Toe, a reading literacy program and each week, we would sit down and work through it. Granddad always said things like 'You can do it' or 'Just keep going'. One thing my family instilled in me was that learning to be good at something involved a lot of practice and time and to be ok with that."

When Bayley was ready to transition from primary to secondary school, his parents carefully considered their options. They ultimately chose Kristin, a private school on Auckland's North Shore, because of the smaller class sizes, excellent facilities, and overseas opportunities it offered its students. Despite not yet knowing about Bayley's needs, his parents' choice would ultimately prove to be advantageous for him. "I know if I had gone to a mainstream school, I would have been classified as the naughty kid that never listened and always had his hand up asking questions," shares Bayley.